I maybe blonde but … and i am proud to have a friend who is a transgender woman

I have a new girl friend called Julie

 

That’s nothing unusual I hear you say,

only for the fact I have them known him for 30 years but only met her for the first time last week

…. now you’re confused, let me explain …

 

My best long term male friend Harry (apart from the husband) transformed recently to be a woman

 

She is now Julie, a transgender woman

 

As I say I met her for the first time last week, we had arranged to meet for a day of coffees/lunch/shopping as we do often and even though I had been, confidentially party to the discussions of her transformation I had no idea I would be meeting her not him

 

Was it a shock you ask, yes it was – it’s not often I am speechless but for once I was !

 

Usually, we hug/kiss, like old friends do but there was a little personal space that had not been there before

 

I have to say the look was convincing, must have been practicing with the makeup & hair, not use to seeing bright colours nor bling on my friend

 

We went for a coffee, one thing that hadn’t changed was finding toilets, between us we can wee for England, did you know most high street coffee shops have unisex toilets?

We sat across from each other, I noticed the new delicate way she held her cup and took smaller bites from a pastry

We usually talked clothes, ‘he’ liked black, a Johnny Cash look, non collar shirts with waistcoats, a hippy style …. Julie was in a bright pink sweater, fitted jeans, ankle boots with a casual handbag – sat in the coffee shop she was not out of place and you wouldn’t give a second glance, in a nice way

We chatted, a little awkwardly at first, thinking about what I was going to say before I said it, and yes that’s another first for me – I wanted to use the correct pronouns, be understanding of her nervousness as well as mine and the new journey we were both undertaking

 

We walked to Tottenham Court Road, enjoying the sun, instantly I noticed one thing that hadn’t changed, Julie walked on the road side of the pavement as ‘Harry’ had always done .. Being brought up with manners ingrained, this was going to be to a hard one to change

Clothes shopping was an eye opener, no longer opportunities for me to check out what guys are buying, you know the one who’s out buying on his own, holds a Hawaiian shirt up and looks in the mirror, I catch his eye and shake my head, he smiles and puts the shirt back

 

….. now I find Julie and I are discussing and debating the merits of thongs or full panties eeek … could write a whole blog just on that subject … and something I don’t know the answer to ‘how to hide your package in a swimsuit’ … well actually I have two rather large packages on my chest but never had the debate of hiding them, in fact one might say they are out more than their in and definitely get into a room before me!

 

As the day goes so does the ease of conversation and find ourselves slipping into our old friendship with humorous quips/anecdotes – until I am looking up something on my phone, head bent, ask a question without looking up, a mans voice replies a familiar sarcastic humorous reply and for a split second I forget the days events, laughing inside and out at my friend Harry, and glance up expecting his 5 oclock shadow, his salt & pepper hair and sparkling eyes but see Julie, a giggly feminine blonde …. and remember Harry has gone

 

Yes, I am sad, sad I won’t have one more day with him, one more time to remember funny & sad moments, and to say goodbye …. bet your thinking would one day be enough … how many more days would I want and as a human being would always want more …

I need more time to grieve, to let my friend go and try, try very hard to welcome a new friend into my life and make new memories, plans, funny moments that we can look back on and laugh

It will happen, it will take time and that’s something we have as friends … we have time to start again, a new era for the both of us

 

But, you say, what about Julie? Forget you and your selfish thoughts … think about his life and her new one

I do and I am … I can’t imagine the tug of war of feelings he has had within himself, the suppression, the depression … the need to confirm and be who you were given

I can’t imagine that strength, that backbone to stand tall and be who you want to be … to ‘come out’ as the modern phrase is

I admire my old friend and congratulate my new friend on the guts to be Julie … to create a new you and stand up and be counted

 

So next time you see a transgender man or woman, don’t stare or gape, smile and think about the journey they have undertaken to get to be who they want to be, despite criticism, and the so called friends they will lose …

 

you and I have had a moderately easy ride in comparison … I’m not saying we haven’t had trials and tribulations along our road to adult hood but the pull of being not what you have been born must be a fight and a daily battle

 

It may not be my usual blog of the funny/bizarre and downright ridiculous situations in my world as an escort but it’s a little insight into my personal life and the experiences that effect me

 

I am Annabel …. the escort, the wife, the best friend and a fifties blonde who after many years in conformist roles became a sex worker/escort/whore/tart/prostitute …. No different than my new and exciting friend Julie

 

We all have labels it’s who we are inside that’s important

 

Until the next time

It’s not about being a new person, but becoming the person you were already
meant to be

By Anon

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