I maybe blonde but …. a picture speaks a thousand words

A throwback story not published, i was asked about funny anecdotes on a recent meet with a delightful septuagenarian
I recalled a delightful print I had at my first play apartment, a large framed well know black & white print of Audrey Hepburn, this was hung on a wall above the bed

many meets came and went, one gent liked to stand above me on the bed, towards the wall while he wanked

i could tell he was nearing by the bed wobbling and heavy breathing, I prepared my self for the inevitable but only heard a gasp and a ‘oops, oh f**k !

I looked up to see him staring at the wall and saw my poor print splattered with … well you can guess … a very impressive projectile shot over poor Audrey 🙁

I gently wiped her down, and all good, well a little smudgy in places !

years on ….

I have met many an international gent, and twice from Japan … this gent was quite petite and appeared to enjoy bouncing about on the bed, in a frog like/sumo position and wanking … when completed, and with blood rushing to to his head he wobbled over, steadying himself by putting hands on the wall, well actually … you guessed it on my print of Audrey !

Another wipe up required

Third and final incident

Me, the husband and a photographer planned a Champagne shoot

this involves a bottle of shook up bubbly, my legs open and carefully placed fingers over the end of the said bottle to get the maximum spurt ! over me, open legs thus enabling husband to lick off

I was in position, a delightful pair of seamed nylons, basque and heels in the air … the moment arrived … awaiting for a spray of cold champagne ? a proportion shot over me but the husbands finger slipped … (that old story lol) causing a spurt more of hosepipe dimension and said bubbly shot over me and you guessed it …… all over my print !

me ? I didn’t mind as there was lots of licking up from said husband but as for poor Audrey Hepburn she was soaking wet, in fact dripping

…. I decided at this point it was time for Audrey to go, there are so many excuses to give why there are smear marks, sticky parts and blurring on the picture

until the next time

There comes a time in every woman’s life when the only thing that helps is a glass of champagne. – Bette Davies

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